If Operating Systems Were Airlines: Part 2

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
OSX Air:

You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Enterprise Apple PC Buying Increases

Though some in the MIcrosoft operating system ecosystem will pooh pooh the news, a recent Changewave Alliance survey suggests the strongest enterprise buying of Apple computers since 2005. It may be the Leopard effect, the iPod or iPhone effect. Or maybe, as more
computing moves to Web interfaces, it is becoming more rational again to choose "easy to use" devices, as the key applications can be supported either on a Windows or Leopard operating system.

As somebody who was forced to give up Apple machines in favor of the PCs everybody else in the enterprise was using, this is a welcome change. Somebody needs to update this, but it is priceless:

What if Operating Systems Were Airlines?

DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.

OS/2 Airlines
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems.

Once they finally finished you're offered a flight at reduced cost. To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP
See "Windows NT"

Windows Vista
See "Windows NT," but prettier, if useless

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

Unix Airlines
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.

Wings of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.

Mach Airlines
There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived.

Newton Airlines
After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 6 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward announces that you have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of room and need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers.

VMS Airlines
The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors.

BeOS Air
You have to pay for the tickets, but they're half the price of Windows Air, and if you are an aircraft mechanic you can probably ride for free. It only takes 15 minutes to get to the airport and you are cheuferred there in a limozine. BeOS Air only has limited types of planes that only only hold new luggage. All planes are single seaters and the model names all start with an "F" (F-14, F-15, F-16, F-18, etc.). The plane will fly you to your destination on autopilot in half the time of other Airways or you can fly the plane yourself. There are limited destinations, but they are only places you'd want to go to anyway. You tell all your friends how great BeOS Air is and all they say is "What do you mean I can't bring all my old baggage with me?"

Linux Airlines
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Google Dominates Search Even More This Year

Google accounted for 65.10 percent of all U.S. searches in the four weeks ending December 1, 2007, according to Hitwise. Yahoo! Search, MSN Search and Ask.com each received 21.21, 7.09 and 4.63 percent respectively. The remaining 46 search engines in the Hitwise Search Engine Analysis Tool accounted for 1.96 percent of U.S. searches.

As you might expect, search engines also continue to be the primary way Internet users navigate to key industry categories. Comparing November 2007 to November 2006, the travel, entertainment and business and finance categories showed double digit increases in their share of traffic coming directly from search engines.

at&t Forecasts Strong 2008 Growth

In a forecast that, in some ways, resembles France Telecom's, at&t executives now say the company will achieve double-digit adjusted earnings growth in 2008. Where the forecast resembles France Telecom's projections is the full-year wireline segment, where at&t forecasts 2008 earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization in line with 2007. France Telecom executives recently projected 2008 cash flow consistent with 2007.

at&t also expects 2008 wireless EBITDA in the low 40-percent range.

For its U-Verse Internet-based TV project, at&t said it expects to reach more than one million subscribers by the end of 2008.

Longer term, at&t expects adjusted earnings growth in the double-digits and mid-single-digit or better revenue growth. That's another area where at&t and France Telecom have common views. Where 2008 might just keep pace with 2007, growth will accelerate after that.

Mobivox Hopes to Bridge Generation Gap

Younger people hooked on instant communications like SMS and IM communicate differently with their grandparents, a new survey by Mobivox finds. That there are clear generational differences in how we communicate with family and friends will come as no surprise to just about anybody.

Almost 60 percent of people under 35 say that they communicate differently with older, less tech savvy family members and friends. The reverse might also be true: parents sometimes communicate with their children using different modes than they do with peers.

But the gap probably is widest between teenagers and their grandparents 65 or older. Older users are two times as likely to say that technology "gives me a headache" (less than 10 percent of those over 65 use SMS or IM regularly and over half still use letters).

And the impact of these barriers on relationships is felt across generations, says Mobivox. One in three Americans, regardless of age, say that they don't connect as often as they would like with those they love because they don't use the same communications technology.

The poll also reveals that 60 percent of those under age 35 said that family and friends call them for help with their technology woes.

Mobivox has launched GiftVOX to lessen some of those woes.

GiftVOX lets every family's "go-to technologist" set up free international calling for family members. All the recipient has to do is call their local Mobivox access number and, during that first call, opt-in to activate their account.

GiftVOX eliminates the need to ever go online, program a contact list or learn to use a new gadget, Mobivox says.

What's interesting here is the pre-programming of accounts on behalf of other family or social group members who might not be motivated to do so themselves (I have encountered this problem myself, trying to set up a family calling group).

The new program is about as simple as it could possibly be. Group members don't need a computer, a credit card or even a calling card number. All they need is a mobile or landline phone.

Because Mobivox allows members to connect from any phone, it is especially easy for older generations to use since eight in 10 of those over 65 rely on home landline phones to communicate, compared to 50 percent using mobile phones and only one in three on email, Mobivox says.

24% of Landline Users Would Consider Abandoning Landline Service

As many as 24 percent of landline users would consider abandoning those lines in favor of mobile-only service, a survey by In-Stat sugggests. And some think that forecast is too conservative. Citigroup analyst Michael Rollins argues that by 2010, wireless-only households should rise to 27 percent, up from 13 percent last year and an estimated 17 percent this year.

In fact, the cord-cutting trend seen among younger U.S. wireless users might be hidden to a certain extent, as many teenagers may now be quite comfortable with the idea of using a mobile as the voice appliance, and simply haven't yet had a chance to make their preferences known in the broader market.

To be sure, the typical cord cutter is under 35 years old with a small household and a lower income than the traditional phone user, In-Stat says.

“The largest number of current cord cutters—those who do not have a landline, but rely solely on their mobile phone—are those one might expect: young, single, living alone, or sharing quarters such as a dormitory or rooming house,” says Jill Meyers, In-Stat analyst. “In many cases, these are people who are the least-likely candidates to have a landline phone.”

To nobody's surprise, current cord cutters, who have no landline service, use 22 percent more mobile minutes than the average user, and 40 percent more mobile minutes than those not interested in surrendering their landline.

As you also might suspect, potential cord cutters frequently are on family or group mobile rate plans. That is to say, they are teenagers or college-age adults whose bills are paid by other family members. They also are users who simply are accustomed to communicating using a mobile device rather than a "home phone."

Potential cord cutters also are heavy users, since nearly all their calling and texting is concentrated on a personal mobile device. Their spending averages $111.41 a month. Most estimates peg cord cutters at about five to eight percent of users. Analysts at the Yankee Group think the trend will keep growing, and reach 15 percent in several years.

As a parent with three young adults on a such a plan, I can attest that per-capita spending is much higher than for the parents also on shared plans. Way higher, and in line with the In-Stat findings.

More SOA-Based Voice, Text from BlueNote Networks

BlueNote Networks has launched a pair of new application program interfaces for its SessionSuite communications platform. The new APIs for BlueNote's SessionSuite SOA Edition, which allows developers to embed voice within SOA applications running on IP networks, make it possible to add outbound notification and interactive response to business applications.

For example, the ON-SF allows users to add account activity notification or stock alerts, prescription renewal notifications, flight delay or cancellation notifications within the framework of existing business applications.

The ON-SF goes beyond voice notifications to reach intended message recipients through multiple channels. It enables not only voice notifications, but e-mail and text message notifications as well.

The announcement provides more evidence that communications are being embedded within the context of Web and enterprise applications.